I Tried 100s of Red Lipsticks to See Which Ones Were Sandwich-Proof

1/23

In light of this makeup bag conundrum, I decided to carry out a test to discover which I could rely upon without having to check my reflection every 10-minutes. I call it the sandwich test because that’s exactly what it is. I ate multiple sandwiches while wearing countless different lipsticks. Lots of carbs were consumed, much lipstick was applied and the outcome surprised me. Keep reading to see which red lipsticks stood out from the crowd…

2/23

First up in my quest was Nars’ Semi-Matte Lipstick in the shade Jungle Red. I’ll be honest, I think I found a winner straight away. This lipstick applied smoothly, the colour payoff was perfect (not to cakey and the perfect orange-red shade) and while some did come off on my Pret Chicken Caeser Baguette (delicious) I finished my lunch happy with the result. Had I not able to top up I still would have felt confident with my lipstick choice. Test over? No no, more to go. 

Rating: 8/10

4/23

I’m a big fan of Charlotte Tilbury’s lipsticks already. So much so, I have four in my overflowing makeup bag. Red Carpet Red is probably my all-time favourite red for when I want to dress up. It’s slightly darker than a traditional red but looks incredible on. But does it last the sandwich test? Well, it doesn’t and it doesn’t. It didn’t go all over my chin, which is a plus—but it did need topping up after. Like, I couldn’t finish my lunch and sit there without reapplying if you know what I mean. That being said, my love for this creamy rich red still runs strong. 

Rating: 6/10

6/23

Laura Mercier’s Velour Extreme Matte Lipstick glided over my lips like a dream. It feels like velvet and is the perfect true red. You can see from this after image that the colour started to wear slightly in the middle, but lasted along my lip line. This would most definitely need a top up but I’m very into the texture and love how small the application bullet is. 

Rating: 7/10

8/23

This is obviously a bagel and not a sandwich but it still counts as it’s carbs—and plus, there’s an added challenge of claggy peanut butter. In light of this, I decided to test out a brand my friend swears by for red lipsticks: Barry M. I can honestly say this lipstick lasted an entire bagel, and it still looked as good as it does in this picture after. In fact, I took this image after eating one side of the bagel. If you need a long-lasting lipstick, add this to your collection ASAP.

Rating: 10/10

10/23

So full disclosure, It Cosmetics Blurred Lines lipstick probably isn’t meant for sandwich testing. It’s enriched with hyaluronic filling spheres and collagen to help uplift your lips and leave them with a glossy coating of colour, but I wanted to trial something a little different to be a fully scientific experiment here.

I love the fact it’s a gloss red, but I knew before application it wasn’t going to last—and it didn’t. I’d still wear this day-to-day though as it gives your lips a subtle red tint, but I’d top it up like I would my trusty lip balm. 

Rating: 4/10

12/23

Mac’s Matte Lipstick in the shade Russian Red is the first ever red lipstick I ever bought. I was probably 17 and I’ve loved it for over a decade. Still, to this day I wear it on a regular basis and I’ve probably eaten multiple sandwiches while it’s painted on my lips. I won’t lie, it doesn’t fully last, but what it does do is leave a kind of blurred-lip effect post wrap (fish finger wrap from Leon, anyone?) and if that’s good enough for Jeanne Demas, it’s good enough for me. 

Unfortunately my favourite shade is sold out, but below is the colour I’d pick next. 

Rating: 8/10

14/23

I’ll be the first to admit that I adore Glossier, I regularly use their products and swear by many. However, Generation G in their poppy red shade, Zip and I haven’t always got on. I love the sheer matte formula, and use their subtle peach shade, Cake as an everyday lip look, but find with Zip it doesn’t last past my morning commute. This was the same for my lunchtime sandwich, as you can see from the above. I think I’ll stick to Cake for any future sandwich tests. 

Rating: 4/10

16/23

Like the Laura Mercier Velour Extreme Matte Lipstick, this Hourglass one was heavenly to apply. I have thin lips, so any lipstick with a smaller bullet is immediately my friend. As the name suggests, this product is ‘high intensity’ and it stood the test of time when eating my Leon wrap (if you haven’t guessed, I tested multiple lipsticks on the same sandwiches for a relatively controlled test, see?) which is pretty impressive considering it contained mayonnaise, too. 

Rating: 9/10

18/23

This lipstick is glossy and glossy doesn’t bode well for eating. While my face didn’t look like the above post sandwich, the lipstick wasn’t all over my face like I expected. I’m into the gloss effect but would probably save this one for when I’m at some kind of soiree where I can drink from paper straws all evening. 

Rating: 6/10

20/23

Forgive me editor for I have sinned, or rather slipped up. This one isn’t technically ‘red red’ but there’s always room for a little variety isn’t there? Illamasqua’s Lava lipsticks use tonal pigments to give a seriously rich colour pay-off, and this dark plum-red colour is no exception. It did come off under my lips as I ate my egg mayo sandwiches, but that could be easily fixed with a napkin and a little care. Apart from that, this stayed firmly on my lips. 

Rating: 7/10

22/23

Up last is Bobbi Brown’s Luxe Lip Colour. I’ve used a photo of my actual sandwich to illustrate this one as I’ve come to the conclusion that I A ) can’t look at my face anymore leaning slightly to the right, and B) wear too many roll necks. That aside, this lipstick is buttery in the best way possible and applies seamlessly. I’ll be honest, it didn’t last. You can see from my one bite that lots of lipstick was transferred to the bread and this continued for the next three bites I took. For £28 I’d expect it to last through a meal, but I do love the light-reflecting sheen it gives to your lips. 

Rating: 4/10